First Christmas In Recovery
BY THE TIME MY FIRST Christmas in recovery came to be, I had over 7 months back in the fellowship on A.A., had a sponsor, had a service commitment, and had already gone through the first 9 of the 12 steps of the A.A. program. I was finally comfortable avoiding the “people, places, and things” that feed the spiritual downfall to my “bottom”, but with the wisdom of my sponsor and those who shared in meetings, I was reminded of how trepidatious the holidays could be.
I often heard of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years referred to as the “Bermuda Triangle” of temptation and struggle for many alcoholics. January A.A. meetings were filled with people who relapsed over the holidays, and newcomers who finally saw their alcoholism progress over the holidays, and then realized that they drank just as alcoholically after the holidays, even though their “plan” was to “dial it back” starting after New Years.
My first holidays in recovery were not so much a struggle; again, I give credit to the fellowship, program, and service of A.A., and to my sponsor and fellow alcoholics that kept me involved in fellowship, service, and the 12 Steps. And the general rules of thumb I received about handling life during these tricky holidays — especially Christmas — generally ran along these suggestions and bits of advice:
What’s most important — and most helpful — to me is remembering that A.A. continues to prove, one day at a time, that I am never alone.
Arrange to have someone else in the program available to call in case I needed a “touchstone” of connection to keep myself grounded. That person can often be my sponsor, who might already know the dynamics of what I might be walking into, and therefore might have the most informed and beneficial advice on how to best manage my time and maintain my sobriety while I’m there. (It’s also good to just “touch base” with my sponsor or a friend in the fellowship to discuss my handling of the holiday and why I might have felt the need to leave early.)
If possible, have a means of transportation available, so that if I needed to excuse myself from any Christmas activities early, I could do so.
Keep my alcohol-free beverage in hand as often as possible, and be mindful that I fix my own drinks, therefore safely ensuring my knowledge of my drink’s content.
And, since it’s rare that everyone at a party of mixer is a heavy or extreme drinker, I try to mind the people (or person) that seems to be a light imbiber. (I have been surprised at how often I have found someone at a party who is also in recovery.)
Other “tools” that have helped me is to find a service commitment in A.A. Christmas day seems to provide more opportunities to do so, whether by stepping in to doing service in a group that might be holding more meetings (often a “marathon), or visiting a fellow in the program who might not have company or can’t make it out to a meeting or to be with other people.
And, of course, special mind to the people that I care about the most — the folks, especially young ones — whose day I’d rather lighten, than ruin.
(I remember being taught to keep them only as inspiration, and not to make them my Higher Power.)
Of course these are only the suggestions that I’ve heard, and I’m sure there are plenty others that are shared in A.A. fellowships, meetings, and services around the world. What’s most important — and most helpful — to me is remembering that A.A. continues to prove, one day at a time, that I am never alone. So when I need help, I embrace the good fortune that it’s available, and I humble myself enough to actually ask for it.
The greatest gift of all, on Christmas or any other day, is gratitude. And I have been grateful that the people and principles of A.A. have always availed themselves to me, and that they have also taught me how to go about, consciously and vigilantly, seeking them out.
Merry Christmas, and may one of your presents be the presence of the principles and fellowship of A.A., this Christmas Day and every day.